What the hell do I know?

There's a reason why "NFL" stands for "Not For Long". The NFL is by far the most unpredictable of the major professional sports. Any team can beat anybody on any given day (unless you're the Rams). You never know when an injury will end someone's season and maybe even a team's season along with it (the Patriots know all about this). One team can look perfect for eight games and then inexplicably lay an egg. Other teams can look like they belong in the ACC and then play out of their minds. There's just no way of knowing what's going to happen. Take this week for example. Here are my top 10 shockers from Week 5.

10. The Dolphins have the most exciting offense in the NFL. Against the Jets, Tony Sparano called one of the best games I've ever seen. Rex Ryan and this supposedly immovable Jets defense looked lost. I absolutely love the wildcat and all the variations the Dolphins have. They can have Ronnie Brown take the snap and run or throw, Pat White take the snap and run or throw, run misdirection plays, put Chad Henne or White out wide, the options are endless. They've obviously practiced this a lot and it's really been clicking the past two weeks. What's scary is that Miami looked like a very good offense in traditional formations as well. Henne was on the money all night getting the ball to the tight ends and hit Ted Ginn perfectly on a deep ball for a touchdown, something that's hard to do with Ginn's blazing speed. I know it's really early but I think Henne is the future of this franchise. Losing Chad Pennington for the season may have been the best thing that ever happened to them.


9. The 49ers dismal performance against Atlanta. I'm not surprised that my boys lost to the Falcons at home. Atlanta was coming off a bye and had plenty of time to prepare for this one. But what shocked me was how a team that prides itself on mistake-free, disciplined football could play that poorly. Especially with Singletary not allowing that kind of nonsense. The Niners looked like their counterparts from across the bay with their play on Sunday. Penalties, turnovers, wasted timeouts, blown coverages, premature celebrations...you name it. I really could fill an entire article with how pathetic that game was. At least the 49ers have a bye week this week to straighten things out. And if players thought that bye would involve relaxing, they better think again. Singletary will practice them to death. I just hope he doesn't get so mad that he pulls a Bob Knight and starts hitting players.

8. Miles Austin? I've heard of this guy but I still can't believe the numbers he put up against the Chiefs-10 catches, 250 yards, 2 TD. He had more yards and touchdowns in that game than the useless Roy E. Williams has all season. That's the biggest shocker. How does Romo have such success with Austin who is normally a fourth or fifth option in this offense, but he can't get in a rhythm his number one wide receiver. Blame it on Williams. I say start Austin for the rest of the season. He is faster and has better hands.


7. Braylon Edwards all of a sudden has great hands. You know Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson were swearing at the TV Monday night while watching Edwards make tough three highlight-reel catches. I can hear it now, "where the f--- was that when I was throwing to you!!!". It's amazing how some athletes get out of a tough situation and everything just seems to click. Look at guys like Randy Moss, Ron Artest and even Manny Ramirez when they switched teams. I think Edwards is going to like it in New York.

6. The Ravens blow a game to the Bengals with poor defense and mental mistakes. The Ravens of old would laugh if a team thought they would take the ball 80 yards in the final minutes to win. The Ravens of old would probably force a four-and-out and go home with the W. They certainly wouldn't allow Carson Palmer pick apart their secondary. And there's no way in hell they'd commit three inexplicable penalties to extend the drive. Can't blame this one the refs Baltimore. That defense needs to get it together.

5. Matt Hasselbeck is more important to his team than any other player is to their team (excluding Peyton Manning). Look at this stat: In the two games he's completed this season, Seattle outscored their opponents 69-0. In the three games he didn't play (or at least finish) Seattle was outscored 82-46. Against Jacksonville on Sunday, Hasselbeck threw four TDs and Seattle looked like their old form. With Hasselbeck back, Seattle can go back to hoping for another division title.


4. Tennessee is 0-5?! How in the world is a team that had the best record in the NFL last season 0-5 the following season? I knew that last year was fluky for Titans. They had an easy schedule, little attention placed on them, and absolutely maximized their potential.... at least in the regular season. There was no way they'd go 13-3 again. But I certainly didn't think they would fall this far. Their passing defense is downright pathetic, they turn the ball over, commit poor penalties and now all of a sudden the longest-tenured coach in the league, Jeff Fisher may be on the hot seat. At least their first few games were all close. But in the last two games they've been outscored 68-26! They let the Jaguars beat them by 20 and it should've been worst than that if Tennessee didn't score some points in garbage time. This team stinks and now they'll get the fun task of playing an angry Patriots team on Sunday.

3. LaDainian Tomlinson's fall from grace. It's surprising how little attention this story is getting. LT was the best running back in this league for a 3-4 year period and maybe the most dynamic back we had ever seen. He had the chance to break Emmitt Smith's career rushing record and even Jerry Rice's total touchdowns record. Now he can barely go a quarter without getting injured or re-aggravating an old injury. If he plays an entire game, he usually doesn't get more than 10 or 12 carries. I don't know what's happened to him but it's sad to see. For the Chargers it's not just sad, it's painful. They went out on the limb for the guy and signed him to a new contract, hoping that he'd turn it around. So far it doesn't look good. The Chargers are going to need him to step up because they can't just torch everyone in the passing game. And Darren Sproles isn't big enough to take 20 carries a game and be effective. Right now it looks like LT will be another running back who couldn't handle turning 30

2. Denver is 5-0?! If you told me a couple months ago that the Broncos would be 5-0 to start the season I would've recommended you to the nearest mental hospital. They had as bad an offseason as you could possibly ask for. Let's go through everything that happened. You can start off with the team's epic collapse last year when they only had to win one of their final three games to take the AFC West and couldn't do it. The rocket-arm "star" quarterback (of course I still refuse to call him that) wants out and gets out. They lose their hall of fame coach Mike Shanahan and replace him with someone who still gets IDed at any bar. I'm sorry but Josh McDaniels looks younger than me and I'm 23. The star receiver wants out and is quitting on the team in practice because he isn't getting enough money. I'm sure you all have seen the video I posted below. I had them at 4-12 in a heated battle with the Chiefs and Raiders for the last place spot in the division.



So, how did this team turn it around? Kyle Orton has quietly (as always) led this team by not making mistakes and letting the players around him make plays. We forget that Denver has some weapons on offense: Marshall, Eddie Royal, Tony Scheffler, and the additions of Knowshon Moreno and Correll Buckhalter. Even more credit goes to Mike Nolan for completely changing this defense which is now first or near the top in many categories. Why couldn't he be this successful in San Fran And of course plenty of credit goes to Josh McDaniels for not letting this team fall apart and for pushing them to beat teams they weren't supposed to beat. 

1. The Bengals are in first place. Yeah, I said it the Bengals are in first place. It just doesn't sound right when it comes off the tongue does it? Another comeback win for the cardiac cats. They keep finding more and more exciting ways to win football games. And their most exciting finish was the game they lost opening day to Denver on that fluke 90 yard TD. So they should be undefeated right now. I came into the season thinking that the two best teams in AFC were from the AFC North, Pittsburgh and Baltimore. Well, the Bengals just beat those two in the last three weeks. Cincinnati has done it with great defense and timely offense. Defensive end Antwan Odom has been tearing it up, he already has eight sacks. Their linebackers, Dhani Jones, Keith Rivers and rookie Rey Maualuga have been solid. And their secondary, led by CB Jonathan Joseph has been great. Carson Palmer has been clutch, engineering game-winning drives in each of the past three wins. People forget that Palmer was a Pro Bowl QB before all of his injuries. Cedric Benson is maybe the toughest running back in the league. And Ochocinco looks like his old self. I still don't think they are going to win that tough division, but they are a force to be reckoned with.

Three Clowns of the Week

3. Rex Ryan- There's two minutes left in the game, the Dolphins are already easily in field goal range to tie it and could take the lead with a TD. Call timeout! There's no way you benefit by letting the clock tick in this situation. If you stop the Dolphins and they kick a game-tying FG you have no time in regulation to try and score. And if they score a TD like they did, you have no chance of winning the game. Poor decision making by Ryan, who had seemed to make all the right ones before that game.

 2. Ray Lewis- People will be oohing and ahhing over his bone-jarring hit on Ochocinco for a while but this play was ridiculously stupid. Your team is trying to prevent a team from scoring on the final drive to win and you extend the drive with a personal foul penalty on a head-to-head hit. What are you doing? This was a costly mistake that in the end cost the Ravens the game.

1. Dre Bly- You are down 35-10 at home to the Falcons and finally catch a break. Matt Ryan gives you a gift interception and all you have is grass in front of you, and Roddy White about two yards behind you. Perfect time to showboat at your own 30 yard line when you still have 70 yards to the endzone with a guys that faster  than you right on your heels. Of course the result ends up being a fumble that's recovered by Atlanta. Are you kidding me? I don't know if I've ever seen more of a bonehead play in my life. At least when Leon Lett did it in the Super Bowl his team was up by a million and he was only a yard away from scoring. Then Bly makes comments like this after the game "Dre's going to be Dre'". Dre you are an idiot! I know he apologized later for it but that was coming straight from Singletary's mouth. If he didn't apologize, he'd be out of the league playing in NFL Europe by now.



Poor week for me with my picks as I go 2-3. Of course the three I lost were all to last second scores, Carson Palmer's TD pass for the Bengals, Denver's FG in OT, and Ronnie Browns TD in the closing seconds Monday Night. I did OK with the fantasy picks going 7 for 10 getting all of my fantasy heroes right but only two zeroes right. Oh well there's always next week for the Gridiron Guru.

Hey everyone check out my buddy and sports broadcasting colleague Dave Vatz on his sports blog, Around The Harbor at http://aroundtheharbor.blogspot.com/.